Kirk Likes a Challenge
by HarlequinSongBird
Summary: Five times that Kirk has tried to make Spock laugh, and one time that Spock made Kirk crack up.
1. Fake finger, dirty mug, and a bad joke

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from Star Trek or the actors playing them. This is all fiction.  
This was written for a prompt on the st_xi_kink (Star Trek Kink) meme community on LiveJournal, in which the prompt stated, "5 times Kirk has tried to get Spock to laugh and failed, and one time when Spock made Kirk ROFL."

Enjoy. =] Parts 4, 5, and 6 will be coming soon.

* * *

Jim Kirk was known for having pretty awful jokes. You know, the ones you got on gum wrappers and popsicle sticks? A whole section of his brain seemed to be dedicated to storing them, and he had a bad habit of pulling them out at the most inappropriate moments. Though, it didn't help that as terrible as the jokes were, members of the crew laughed. Even if they were just chuckles, they recognized that the joke had some tact.  
There was one person, however, that would never muster even a chortle when Kirk decided to "pull a funny".

Spock.

No surprise, of course. Vulcans did not readily show emotions. The only time Spock ever conveyed any particular emotion was when he was holding Kirk to a control panel on the bridge, ready to choke the life out of the foolish soon-to-be-Captain for saying that he never loved his mother. Other than that, people could barely elicit a small smile out of the Vulcan. It just didn't seem possible.

Kirk was a sucker for a challenge, and he'd be damned if he didn't give it a shot. Many times, in fact.

The first time Kirk every tried to get Spock to laugh, he resorted to an old faithful of jokes: the fake finger. He thought he was being sneaky, feigning a good, firm handshake with his best friend Commander Spock....and then he let his "finger" drop, dramatically gasping, "Oh my GOD--my FINGER fell off!"

Spock promptly bent down and picked up the fake finger, inspecting it before looking at Kirk. "Captain, forgive me, but I don't believe your skin is made of silicon and plastic." He then nodded to the Captain and walked back to his post.

Maybe next time.

* * *

During the Enterprise's investigation of Mordan IV's continuous civil battles, Kirk had to find some way to keep the crew's morale alive. Though most of his friends gave small smiles and laughs at his attempt to make them laugh, Kirk never got even a glance from Spock. Perhaps he would have to take this to a more personal level.

While on shore leave a couple months back, Jim had made a purchase at a local gift shop with Bones, one that they would still joke about from time to time. Sitting in his quarters was a single white coffee mug with a picture of a scantily clad, greased up young guy in some sort of modeling pose. To the naked eye, the mug was just utterly creepy. Especially because it was Kirk who owned it. But then the uniqueness of the mug was revealed, and it often sent the viewer out of the room, shaking their heads and wondering why they even bothered.

Jim had offered to make Spock some tea one morning while the crew was scanning the surface of the foreign planet, looking for particularly sticky spots in need of some sort of intervention from the Federation. Spock, an avid tea drinker, happily took up the Captain's offer, a bit tied up at the moment with his control panel.

Jim whistled as he poured the tea into the mug, laughing inwardly at the possible laughs he would get from Spock. Or, he _hoped_ he would get. He continued to whistle as he brought the mug over, handing it to the Commander.

And this is where the mug's true shock value came into play. You see, the mug itself stays intact when hot liquids are poured in. However--the picture does not. The hot tea caused the skimpy swimsuit on the male model to suddenly vanish, revealing his "goods" of epic proportions. A few officers on the bridge tried to hold back laughter once the image was revealed, as did Kirk.

Spock looked at the others, arching a singular brow and wondering what the devil was so funny. And then he saw the picture.

Brow still arched, he examined the picture for a moment before handing the mug off to Kirk. "....sometimes I worry about the absurd degree of effort you put into your jokes, Captain."

....Third time's a charm.

* * *

Kirk was a huge fan of bad punchlines, as well as tricks and pranks. He often used the computer in his quarters to access archives from the 21st century to read such jokes, and the cadets passing his quarters would stop and stare at the door because of the hollering laughter they heard from within. He enjoyed plain knock-knock jokes, or funny short stories. Whatever they were, he probably had them in his archives.

One day during a bi-weekly ship restock at the Starfleet base, the crew members on the bridge were sitting at their posts, waiting for some instructions as to what needed to be done. Chekov had found interest in hacking the main harddrive and playing some form of Minesweeper that he had no doubt created himself. Uhura decided this was the perfect opportunity to touch up her self-given french manicure. Two officers were tossing a rubber ball back and forth. Kirk was leaned back in his captain's chair, looking to be in deep thought over something. When an officer would come to him and ask if there was anything that needed to be done while they waited for the ship to be finished being restocked, he would simply shake his head and wave his hand dismissively. Clearly, he did not want to be interrupted.

"I got it." He suddenly said, thought not loud enough to really attract much attention. Even though there was silence on the bridge, nobody bothered to look at him or acknowledge that he had said anything.

"Mr. Spock..." the Captain started, swiveling the chair over in Spock's direction, who was hunched over his panel. The Vulcan looked up over at him as if to say, "Yes, Captain?" though he didn't actually voice it.

".....how do you make antifreeze?" Kirk asked with an arched brow, leaning his elbow on the arm rest of the chair. Before Spock could even open his mouth to answer (which would have totally ruined the joke, by the way), Jim finished, "...you take away her blanket!"

This joke elicited a couple chuckles from utterly bored-out-of-their-minds crew members, Chekov and Sulu included, but Spock.....Spock just didn't laugh at all.

"Captain, I do believe that antifreeze is made from methanol, ethylene glycol, and propylene glycol. I don't remember there ever being blankets in such an equation."

This was getting ridiculous.


	2. Ballet pictures

The fact that Spock was completely unmoved by Kirk's efforts to humor him was very puzzling to the young captain, and frustrating, to say the least. Maybe he was trying too hard? Maybe Spock just didn't enjoy the dry, in-your-face humor of joke shop pranks and knock knock jokes. Some people could be joke snobs--maybe that was his problem. Whatever the reason, though, Jim didn't know if he could continue for much longer...and the worst part of that realization was that he iwanted/i to continue. In his world, if you weren't the winner, you pretty much failed all-together.

He thought about taking the more natural approach to humor, and in this case, that meant showing Spock an album of embarrassing childhood photographs that his mother had kept over the years. The red leather album had drawn laughs from many relatives and friends, leaving Jim red in the face and wishing he had been mischievious enough as a kid to burn those pictures.

After most of the day's activities had ended, the crew on the bridge was able to get up and stretch, grab some food and relax. They needed rest, too. No use trying to steer a huge ship past asteroids if your body was threatening to shut down on the job.

Kirk saw this as an excellent opportunity to pull Spock aside like he "just happened" to come across something that he thought the Vulcan would be interested in.

"Spock! Just the guy I wanted to see!" He gave a light laugh as Spock sat down near where the captain was perched, somewhere in a lounge area. "Oh, man, this is just--I was just cleaning out my quarters when I found this album. My mom used to embarrass me when relatives and neighbors came over..." He opened the leather album, revealing the first page of pictures. Of course, Kirk had already taken out the incredibly boring, "look at me I have food on my face!" pictures and put the best ones to the front, the first being of him in one of his mom's frilly shirts and high heels.

Spock arched a brow at the picture before looking over at Kirk. "I don't think green pumps are quite your thing, Jim."

Kirk blinked, a bit thrown off, before flipping to another page. "AHAH! I remember this!"  
It was a picture of him on his first day of ballet class. Normally he would not readily admit that his mother enrolled him in ballet, but this was a different situation that called for these sorts of measures.

"I'm not quite sure what the point of all these pictures are, Captain. Ballet is an art form that requires much poise, grace and discipline. What exactly was your mother thinking putting you, of all people, into such a class? Excuse me, I have some work to do." The Vulcan nodded to Jim before rising and exiting the lounge area.

Kirk stared at his disappearing friend, a bit flabberghasted.

"....I'll have you know I was top student in that class!" He shouted, but it was too late.

Damnit.


	3. Russian in a dress

A/N: Oh hey, look--part five! That means that part six, the much anticipated end, will soon be unveiled. As soon as I write it, that is. =| I've been having a bit of a writer's block with this prompt.

But anyway, as soon as this story is done, I think I'd like to work on another story for only, not from a prompt on the kink meme. So, this is where I ask my new reading friends, for your help. I quite like these "5+1" prompts, so I am asking you, the reader, to give me a prompted idea in that format (Or in a 4+1 format). In your review, if you wish to forward a prompt, put it in this outline:  
"Five (or four) times that _______ (Insert character[s]) _______________ (insert the situation. It can be anything, really, so long as it's not overly disgusting.) and one time that ___________ (the ending of the prompt is usually when the character[s] complete the previously denied task/emotion/whatev. However, it could be that they previously accepted, the last time being when they denied it.)

I will take both het and slash prompts, though I don't have experience writing slash. I am willing to try, though. I will not write graphic sex at this time, but alluding to it is completely in my power.

Get creative, reviewers, and I will supply the fiction! Now, onto your regularly scheduled fanfiction.

* * *

This was the last straw. If Jim Kirk couldn't make Spock laugh after this scheme, the flustered Captain was probably going to give up on life. It seemed silly to everyone else, but as said earlier, Kirk didn't believe in anything except winning. His thoughts had been preoccupied with what could possibly be funny to Spock, and it was the only thing he was readily willing to talk about.

Bones had even suggested medication to help Kirk sleep, since the doctor assumed that this predicament was also taking over his dreams.  
"Look, the guy doesn't even smile--maybe he's not capable of laughing...?" McCoy suggested while checking Jim's pupils with a small flashlight. He had trudged into sickbay after 48 hours of no sleep, thinking there was probably something unhealthy about that. Kirk groaned a reply, shaking his head. "He's half human, Bones! He's capable, he just won't do it." The reason was unclear to him, but it probably had to do with being "emotionally in control" or some stupid bullshit like that.

When Kirk first suggested that they dress up the young Ensign, Chekov, in a dress and take pictures, Bones did not want to comply. "You are going too far for a stupid fight against the devil on your left shoulder, Jim." He told his friend, who merely ignored him and kept driving the small hand-held screwdriver into the edges of Chekov's number pad in front of his quarters. Sure, he could go into the crew logs and just get the password there, but--well, that wasn't as fun, was it? Once inside the young Ensign's quarters, they saw the seventeen year old sleeping in his bed, a teddy bear tucked under his arms. "Well, looks like he's asleep, I guess this means we can leave." Bones said with a shrug, starting to head out the door, only to be pulled back by Kirk. "No, no. He sleeps like a rock, Bones. Remember Lieutenant Mendez's party? Yeah. Exactly." He patted his friend on the shoulder before shaking out the frilly pink evening gown. Couldn't have a fancy dress looking wrinkled, could you?

It took them twenty minutes to wriggle the pink gown onto the sleeping Russian, and by them, it was actually just Jim. Bones stood aside, near the door, his arms crossed at his chest and shaking his head. He wanted no part of this. He did, however, agree to snap a couple pictures in the end, because the sight of Chekov in a dress was actually more funny than originally thought. Chekov kept on sleeping, even as Bones took two, three pictures, the flash nearly blinding the two awake men. They quickly got Chekov out of the dress and slipped out of the room, completely undetected.

The next morning, the bridge crew was in fits of laughter over the pictures that Kirk had in his hands. Even Chekov, who at first was admittedly quite embarrassed and a little irritated, was laughing, "Keptin, I..am no so sure zat pink is qvite my color." Even the kid had a good sense of humor! There was just one person that needed to be exposed to the silly pictures, and that particular person was heading onto the bridge now.

"Mr. Spock! You must come see these pictures of Chekov. He's...well.." He was clearly trying to hold back more laughter, having great difficulty, "He's quite the little debutante, if I do say so myself." He finished before bursting out laughing again, crew members joining him. Spock, his hands behind his back in a professional manner, slowly walked over to where the small crowd was, peering over people to glance down at the pictures in the Captain's hands. Well, look at that...a small smile graced the corners of Spock's lips. Jim watched with slightly widened eyes, and his mind screamed _"BINGO--you've got him, Jim!"_ But the smile quickly turned back to the nonchalant face he usually had as he stood straight and gave a curt nod. "I have to agree with Ensign Chekov that pink is not really his color."

If it were possible for Kirk to melt into a puddle right in his chair, he would have.


	4. Unexpected comments

A/N: Well, this is the end, you guys!  
The ending may seem out of character for our Vulcan, but I believe in order to make Kirk laugh, Spock had to be a little out of character.

Look onto part five at my last note for the prompt request, which will help me write my next fic! Thanks for reading!

* * *

Kirk felt like his whole world was coming down on him, to be overly and unnecessarily dramatic. He felt as if all of life experiences with joking and being the humorous one in the group was going to waste. He had friends who would laugh at him, yes, but that one, singular soul who did not was completely ruining his morale. For the next couple of days following the Chekov incident, he was mopey and totally out of it. When someone asked him what needed to be done on the bridge, he would stare off into nothing for a few moments before answering with a shake of his head. He had forgotten to go to the mess hall to eat lunch twice, instead sitting in his Captain's chair like he had actual work do to. Which he didn't.

He just didn't get it. He had spent hours searching through Vulcan cultural manuals and anatomy books to find a reasoning behind Spock's refusal to laugh. Behing half human, surely he had the capability, at least. Thus, Spock was just doing it to piss Kirk off. That had to be the reasoning for all of this nonsense. He wanted Kirk to get so mad that he flipped his shit in front of everyone and made a fool out of himself. That asshole!

No. That couldn't have been the reason. Spock had always controlled his emotions so carefully. This time wasn't different. However, one would think that because Kirk had tried so many times, Spock would begin to cave. No such luck. It was killing the Captain on the inside, eating at him like a bout of guilt. It shouldn't have been, but it was. There was so escaping this feeling. He had to do something about it, and it had to be done _now_.

He found the Vulcan standing near a wall mounted computer, punching in some jargon that made absolutely no sense to the Captain, but was probably cake to him. Jim felt like going up and decking him in the face was a proper response, but he quickly changed his plans, and instead whipped the Commander around to face him. Hands still on both upper arms, he shook him slightly. "What. Is. With. You?" He punctuated each word with a slight shake. Spock looked at him with an arched brow, clearly confused as to what the Captain was on about now. "...I'm not sure I--" he began, but was quickly cut off. "Oh, don't play coy with me, you green blooded hobgoblin! You're trying to piss me off by making my jokes look shitty and embarrassing me in front of my crew, aren't you!?" Spock blinked a couple of times before shaking his head. "I..I must admit that I have no inclination as to what you're upset about, Jim."

Kirk let out a sarcastic laugh and let go of Spock, shaking his head. "Oh, you never do. I've been trying for weeks to get even the slightest chuckle out of you, Spock. There must be something physically wrong with you! Are you going to try and tell me that you're incapable of laughter? Of finding anything at all funny!? What is WRONG with you?" He was in a frenzy over this, his eyes almost bloodshot from all the yelling. He felt beads of sweat forming on his forehead, his body coming undone under all of the built up stress. Anymore of this and it's likely he'd start having flu or cold symptoms.

Spock seemed genuinely concerned for his friend. Something was upsetting the Captain to the highest degree and he wasn't sure if he should believe the reasoning that young man had for it. Really? He was angry because one out of dozens of people didn't laugh at his jokes? This had to be a joke in itself...

Kirk finally let go of Spock, breathing heavily and staring at him with slightly widened eyes. "....I give up, Spock. I give up trying to make you laugh. In fact, I'm never going to try and make you laugh ever again. It's pointless." He slid down the wall next to the computer and sat on the floor, his legs outstretched.

Just then, a cadet with blonde hair and big green eyes, and rather large...assets, walked past the both of them on her way to a control room. Kirk only glanced, his female senses going off as usual. Spock stared.

"....that woman had to have the absolute largest rack I have ever seen."

It wasn't Kirk who had said it. It was Spock. The typically unemotional Vulcan had just made a lewd comment about a girl. Kirk couldn't contain his laughter for a good five minutes or so. He tried multiple times to stop to _breathe_, but with no avail.

There was hope for them yet.


End file.
